#and everything is too loud
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so what do you do when you feel like it’s 130° celsius every where you go no matter what you do
#and you feel like you want to punch someone in the face for singing Fight Song in a baby voice#and every surface you see has four to twenty random somewhat sticky items spewed across it#and you can smell tomato raisin chicken and you hate chicken#and you feel like you want to throw up#or hibernate for three months#and your sisters keep promising to be quiet and then they start sCrEaMiNG and StOmPiNG#and your littlest sister can walk into a room and it immediately becomes coated in syrup and four week old laundry stench#and you haven’t had water or food in six hours except for a gross peanut butter sandwich on squishy white bread#and your middle sister keeps whining like an immature sports bro from sixth grade#and you keep hearing random music from 2015 that’s way too loud and has a singer who’s off beat#and your room—the only safe place in your entire house—is SIXTY THOUSAND DEGREES WITH FOUR THOUSAND PERCENT HUMIDITY#and your nails keep randomly breaking over and over again and catching on your hair and your clothes and your skin and furniture and tissue#and you’re wearing black flares and a black t shirt and you keep thinking your mom thinks you’re depressed#and your black t shirt is new but it’s two sizes too big in a really awful way#and that annoying bar that suggests tags keeps popping up over what you’re writing#and you’re hair feels too thick and too curtly and unbrushable and ugly#and your insides feel like you’re on fire and being torn limb from limb#and everything is too loud#anyone have any suggestions for me#pls#leah’s lost thoughts#leah wastes time#sorry this is just a rant for no reason
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#I want to want to go to a crowded dim-lit place like a club or something#I want to let myself dance and look like an idiot in a space where everyone else is and no one can see it or care about it#I want to want the proximity and potential casual touch and tension however short-lived it may be#but I feel like I’m suffocating even in open spaces with other people#and everything is too loud#and the moment I’m perceived irl as something to flirt with is the moment my heart drops into my stomach and makes me want to throw up#but I like flirting online and love the people who let me be comfortable enough to do so#I crave intimacy like air and yet it fucking terrifies me#I just….. hhhhhhhh….. I don’t know how to word what’s going on in my head without sounding like I’m……. idk.#why does everyone I trust have to be so far away?#or is it just that I can’t let myself trust anyone who’s actually physically close to me?#Kayla tag rants#ignore me
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part 2!!!! [read part one here]
transcript below the cut arranged into stanzas to help show where the rhymes are:
“that’s why they brought gem in? as a failsafe?” as a pawn. we were told to point her at whoever we need gone
“gem won’t hurt her allies. …yet.” the curse she carries will it’s had its eye on her since she lost the other eye she was specially selected for her hunting skill it’s quite the high honor. “wow. how generous.” we try
think about it: why does almost no one fight the curse? “given how fast scott killed skizz last season, i can guess.” [“any pain you spare your friends, you’ll have to suffer worse”?] it’s designed to shut down higher reasoning with stress
#if you still can't see the rhyme scheme try reading it out loud#if that doesn't work uh. idk. can't help you#my art#my poetry#grian#geminitay#smajor1995#bdoubleo100#inthelittlewood#secret life#grian and his terrible horrible no good very bad eldritch coworkers: the sequel#cant wait to post the next part so i can be like 'my three secret life comics. and yes they all rhyme'#this one narratively doesn't work nearly as well as a standalone compared to part 1#however i accidentally went way too hard and could probably upload the middle page + second to last panel as their own separate art pieces#tbh i'm considering putting an explanation of everything below the readmore buuut i don't feel like it atm. :3 later maybe#me and my 20+ life series headcanons i only allude to without explicitly stating don't need to explain ourselves#still experimenting with this webtoon-esque vertical comic style#still not sure i like it#it gets long too quickly#among other things#but it's very easy to read on a phone so
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something something you being in a casual no strings attached relationship with Soap before his accident versus the quieter, more brooding man that knocks on your door after months of PT and therapy (it did not help).
#I basically already wrote this back in the day (Petrichor) but I want to spend more time with it…#like he’s loud and brash and takes up so much space without thinking about it#but when he comes back after he’s more on edge…it takes him longer to get the words out…#dealing with paranoid thoughts and grappling with almost losing everything#he’s still loud and takes up too much space but he’s almost angry about it now
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this is what i did instead of studying for the past two days. magnificent innit
#ninjago kai#ninjago zane#oppositeshipping#teshfarts#animatic?? png slideshow...???#i have been plagued by the need for anything and everything oppo lately. be it written drawn or a daydream#ninjago the first thing im thinking RIGHT AFTER I FINISH MY EXAMS!! curses#< /silly it lifts my mood 🔥🔥#so currently i am reading a 44 chapter 137k words polyninja ranch summer job fic because hell yeah#tw loud#kinda?? the audio is super quiet but if you accidentally up your volume too high everyone might hear the big F#cw swearing#mae if you see this i annjsbkebdlabsbjbhrvfjfu (on s1 ep9 of arcane as of typing this)
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#kirby#food#daily kirby#my art#digital#hal laboratory#nintendo#a suggestion from my partner after they made me soup yesterday#(and I said something like 'I love soup and also you even when you are not making me soup')#(they made the really nice meatballs I like from scratch and everything)#(I wish I could eat more soup rn but the microwave is too loud -n- )#favorites
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the way several characters have told ed and stede to "shut up" in some way, shape, or form. but when they're both talking to each other, they absolutely cling to every single word. they can't get enough of each other's stories, or ramblings, or little recounts of their days.
#OFMD#OFMD Season 2#OFMD S2 Spoilers#Gentlebeard#Blackbonnet#Edward Teach#Stede Bonnet#Revenge Rambles#inspired entirely by ed rambling on about his day/about fang's actual name towards the end of ep 5#and stede just looking at him as though he hung the moon and stars#stede looking at him and absolutely holding on to every little word pouring from ed's mouth#and i think it's resonating with me quite deeply because uh#I TALK A LOT LMAO#IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED#and i've gotten in trouble for it/snapped at for it/told i'm being too loud whenever i'm being passionate about something/etc etc#so to have someone like...LOVE you for your ramblings#love you for everything you have to say#someone who is just as excited to hear what you're saying as you are with speaking it...#man#MAN..
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Wait did Loki already know about Dick and Jason and all that because he did research /before/ Peter got sent there on not just he was there without telling Peter? And that's why he ended up in that universe specifically cuz he had family there? Or I did I misread something?
oh no Loki is fully lying out of his ass right now. but really he's not lying, it's more like he's not telling the full truth ? idk how much I can really tell you guys cuz I don't want to spoil it... alright, so i can't tell y'all what he was doing specifically but i can tell y'all his general plan and some character insight
i'm feeling in a slightly spoilery mood so!!! if you don't want to know anything about what Loki is up to, don't continue reading! but be aware that at this point in time, there are some things that we just won't know about Loki in the fic itself that i'll talk about here!
before all of this he had absolutely no intentions of teaming up with Peter, he was just exploiting a weakness and trying to get Peter out of the way (this is the same as to what he did with Thor). he knows that Tony would be distracted, and in their efforts to find Peter they would probably be stressed out and their forces would thin because finding usually involves splitting up. they would also have to deal with Mysterio and Ohnn (....and a secret third character 👀). it would give him plenty of opportunity to go in and try and pick them off one by one. except it's not working on the Avengers side. we'll get more to this later 😁
after his first meeting with Peter, Loki figured that Peter would probably be a good place to get some intel if he needed it, because Peter trusted him and was not aware about Loki and his past with the Avengers (or at least not fully aware). the more that he learned about the Bats and Peter's relation to them, as well as learning about Peter, the more he figured it wouldn't hurt to have Peter on his side. he thought that he could twist Peter into believing the Avengers weren't coming. his plans have been shifting around, meeting his needs since the beginning. he's been standing off to the side and pushing the characters around trying to figure out what they will and won't do, like he's observing a game and they have no idea he's moving pieces around when they weren't looking.
however this plan was going to take a lot more time... and Klarion summoning Thor ruined it completely. he had to speed up the process and make his offer quite literally months before he thought he would. so in a way, we can thank Klarion for derailing Loki's plot
Loki had no idea what would happen when he directed Ohnn and Mysterio towards Peter. he knew that Ohnn had been traveling between worlds for a couple of months, but he had no idea if Peter would even survive going to this other universe. he also had no idea about Peter's relation to the Bats until he started digging around for his new plan (Plan: Exploit Peter's Love for his Parents). the thing is, is that his plan would have failed no matter what, because Loki failed to see that Peter's adopted family cares deeply about him, and this bond means just as much as any blood ties he could have. his own insecurities about his standing within his own family got to him. when he was digging around in Peter's life he saw that Peter's foster experience had failed. and he might, maybe, just a little bit... feel bad that the family that was going to adopt Peter were killed because of what happened in the Battle of New York.
so: while he has been very intentionally manipulating Peter... he was thinking of Peter's best interest after a certain point. instead of him not caring what happened to him as long as he was out of the way, Loki did start preparing to make sure that Peter could stay in this world and that he would be taken care of. because i don't believe Loki is an evil person, and even now he's just a little silly. he might have been a little bit crazy with Thor, but to be fair, every other time Loki had a plan and he wasn't crazy enough, Thor came out of it. I feel like they have different standards than what we would as humans. because if you have a sibling then I feel like you'll understand me here... me and my brother used to fight a lot and while we never actually chased each other with knives, we did chase each other with other weapons (whatever wouldn't actually kill but was within our reach) and I think this is their version of that. like me and my brother are super close now but when we were kids we tried to kill each other a lot lmfao. so Thor will probably forgive Loki because that's his brother. (and I'm pretty sure that Loki was under some form of manipulation by Thanos during the Battle of Manhattan/New York??? correct me if I'm wrong, but if that's the case Peter would eventually see that Loki isn't an evil person.) Loki is very chaotic neutral in my eyes, leaning towards evil or good depending on the day. so he's gonna get his ass kicked for trying to take over the world, but like, that's just his enrichment... you gotta let him try every few months/once a year or you're not doing enough to entertain and care for your sneaky God Alien Guy
#I really hope this isn't too spoilery#don't look if you don't want to be spoiled at least a little bit#a lot of this I don't think is going to come up#because I don't think Loki would say this out loud#but it is going to be like sort of implied#because after this we do see a little bit of Loki and Thor but they're not going to be major to the plot#we are quickly approaching our final acts#once Loki is out of the way then we're going to have friendsgiving#after friendsgiving arc we are going into an arc about everything that has been happening for The Avengers (and Ned) for the past month#and then all that's left is to fight Mysterio and Ohnn :)#also another another reminder that this is a series#and when we hit the end of LoF there is another fic after that one (there are 3 planned atm)#loki#thor odinson#ao3 fanfic#leap of faith ao3#peter parker#leap of faith catch me if you can#thank you for the ask!#peter parker in gotham
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i put off drawing them as ponies for a long time but making these was some of the most fun i've had in a while
credit to @pinelessness for the idea that rick is a non-unicorn who creates his own horn thru magic
#rick sanchez#rick and morty oc#rick and morty#art#my art#rick#minnie#GOD now i need to tag this for a pony au lol#the need to categorize everything is too strong#Pony AU#pony rick#pony minnie#i made my pony rick an earth pony tho#for an extra layer of heartbreak bc he cant fly with griffon bp#the boulder one made me literally laugh out loud while i drew it#pony ricks face was so perfect
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to my all little liars!! (edit: wtf happened to my english? 😭)
we’re at 24.6k words rn 😟 if you plan on reading it next week, i recommend you read it on the weekends when there’s no school or work for you waiting in the morning 😀
calling in the troops rn ‘cause there’s still one final scene i have to write and it’s gonna be LONG (this isn’t including the bonus scene btw) but it’s extremely important for the story to continue, and without it, the rest of the story literally cannot go on 😭
we’re locking in guys. it’s 100% gonna border 30k words for sureee. sm has happened in that ONE chapter and i literally cannot wait to release it for all of you, you have no ideaaa
gonna go to bed and then wake up, study, break, write for the fic, repeat. had to randomly drop an update here cuz i’ve been edging you guys for so long i’m sorryyy, but it really is nearly here <333
edit: fck it guys i’m writing it rn (the immediate comments got me motivated)
#the little asks and messages and dms have been so nice tho#like yes pls remind me of ur existence so i can know why i was put on this planet despite the reason that life is a test of faith#think of this chapter as the main one before everything stars to fall crash and burn#the fall is VERY slow tho#the crash is VERY loud tho#and the burn is enough to kill#do they survive it?#maybe#idk 👀 (i do)#but you don’t so muahahahahahaha#feeling like megamind rn#the bonus scene is gonna be pretty long too#so it’s definitely gonna be above 30k words for sure#100%#i am excited and you should be too#this might just be my most fav chapter so far#sm happens#you learn a little more about the stupid things megumi and y/n have done together as kids#and the stupid things their family have done too 💀#chaotic family fr#(we watch it happen in real time guys)#*AHEM* toji and gojo fighting again *COUGH*#that’s all i’m giving you guys#no sneak peaks before i release it cuz i want all of you to go in BLIND!#i’m evil but you’ll thank me for it i promise#<3#ty for ur patience!!!!!
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MODERN BOYZ ☆
🫶 og img under cut
#i have NOT shut up about my kazbanten besties agenda#AND LIBER HEARD ME. THEY HEARD ME LOUD AND CLEAR#GAVE ME CUTE MATCHING FITS AND A SONG#I OWE MY LIFE TO TAICHI NANAO FOR BEING THE RRASON FOR THE THREE OF THEM TO FINALLY CANONICALLY HANG OUT TOGETHER#YOU DONT YBDERSTANDDDDDDD#kazbanten besties are so real you guys. you don’t understand#the song is so cute too….. everything about it is so good#LIBRR I USUALLY ASK FOR YOU TO STOP STALKING ME BUT RN I DO NOT MIND <33333#a3!#a3#a3! fanart#a3! art#a3! kazunari#kazunari miyoshi#miyoshi kazunari#a3! banri#banri settsu#settsu banri#a3! tenma#tenma sumeragi#sumeragi tenma#a3! taichi#taichi nanao#nanao taichi#a3! act addict actors#a3 art#ashipiko draws ♪#wuv them sm…… nom
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I genuinely don't know how people survive without earplugs
#personal#I have some like. alpine whatever earplugs with three different sound level inserts#and I would die without them#everything is so loud always#esp at like. concerts. the rodeo. in public when children are screaming#how do people just go places and hear loud things and not die#couldn't be me#I'm too weak to sound#and sure. sometimes I take the earplugs out at a concert to hear the singing sound sharp and clear#but then there are days like today where everything is so loud that the bass is shaking enough to hurt through the earplugs#ow
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veth talking to vilya as a mother to mother — both separated from their families by cruel magic, — really fucking got me. this deep understanding they both had for each other, the encouragement veth gave to vilya to go for it, to come back.
vilya promising that soon enough veth will get to kiss her little one. veth promising that when she does she will think of vilya.
vilya finally going home, where her daughter that saved the world and pushed through all the obstacles is leading their people, meets her. and i am just so fucking sure it wasn't the leader of the ashari but a little girl that once watched her mother leave and never come back run into vilya's arms.
#may watches the mighty nein#ep 107#i am in tears literally crying out loud#marisha tearing up so much laura too#liam's quiet reaction of just hugging himsels and just watching with a heavy stare#i am so mentally not okay#but at the same time some part of me healed#as travis said 'good job matty'#ep 100s really making me tear up more than everything that happened before#veth brenatto#vilya of the air ashari#keyleth of the air ashari#sam riegel#marisha ray#matt mercer#the mighty nein#critical role
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This is the only home I've ever known. I would give it up for them to be safe. They're the only friends I've ever had. I would be alone again for them to be safe. I would lose them to save them. I can only help them by leaving forever.
#absolutely fucking ILL about evan kelmp#this post is about evan kelmp#misfits and magic#dimension 20#evan kelmp#brennan lee mulligan#i know I'm going on about this#but this is the only sidequest so far that made me cry and it's the fucking harry potter ass season#anyway Evan is everything to me#you're too loud al
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okay, I'm crowdsourcing advice for a minute, so bear with me and please lend some words if you have any:
I want to get out of the house more. Like, on a regular basis. Weekly, maybe. Preferably, I would like to be interacting with people—the same people—every time, for... like... accountability, but also because I am hoping to put myself out there as the 21st century's most neurotic platonic Casanova. Uh. Making a friend or more out of this would be desirable. But I think if I go out with the intention of making a friend, I will be disappointed.
So. I want to go do something, for that something's own sake. I don't want to go be fake once a week hoping to get a friend out of it.
However, the beautiful state of Iowa is a bit cultureless, and I am too introverted and easily overwhelmed for this world (e.g. going to bars is probably not gonna be my thing). So.... I guess.... any suggestions? opinions? thoughts on making friends in general, or finding good activities as an introverted adult, in general?
oh yeah, also: I am poor. that's a factor. so. signing up a class or similar is not a great option right now.
what the heck, I'll add a silly poll for fun:
#Robin processes emotions on main#Robin speaks#I'm mostly talking out loud here. you know how it is#the question itself is too complicated for an easy answer#and everything will change in January when I become unemployed again and start searching for an in-person job anyway#but hey..... (trails off with nothing to say)#to clarify: right now I'm working part time online#and I'm surviving but my mental health is kind of..... tenuous. I'm lonely. I've got no regular in person contact with non-family#also the young-adults group thing sounds uniquely agonizing. I'm restructuring my entire way of faith right now#and so my choices in a young adults group would be.... either fake it or make myself into an embarrassing... like... Thing#impediment to fun and progress or whatever#I don't want to do that. especially if I'm looking to make friends. it'd be like therapy but public and with strangers and frankly#probably very very midwestern-bland-white-evangelical and I don't know if I can take it... I don't know if I can do it#yeagh#OH. ALSO. BY THE WAY. when I say ''a friend or more'' I do NOT mean a friend or romance alsjdflsjdlkdfjsjla#I mean ONE OR MORE friends.
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Modern crack thought.
Someone grabs Twilight's earbud expecting it too be some cheesy country song they can roast him about.
Instead they are greeted with the the most disturbing shit on full blast leaving them to wonder how this nut isn't deaf.
#linked universe#lu twilight#i could see Legend being the type too listen to just about everything in existence?#so he definitely help expand Twilight's horizons and he finds things that give him the dopamine#most of which are loud as fuck
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